Zharg Culture - The Songs of Zharg - More Hidden Secrets of Zharg
There is virtually no culture on Zharg - except, of course, for the wonderful Songs of Zharg.
Zharg is often confused with Australia, an island to the North of Tasmania.
Zhargis devote most of their education to consuming distilled and fermented juices so that they can live in hope of writing the perfect Song of Zharg in later life. Most Zhargis consider the attempted fulfilment of this dream to be their highest aspiration.
Every Zhargi claims to have either written or at least to know each of the very few Songs of Zharg to have been written. They are famous throughout those parts of the Universe which have the ill luck to be close to Zharg. Every detail of each Song of Zharg is discussed and analysed continually as has been the case for innumerable Wednesdays. Were Zhargis to have dinner parties, they would discuss Zhargian songs.
Every Zhargi spends at least 40 per cent of his, hers or its money on the Songs of Zharg.
The Songs of Zharg are exceedingly tedious. This enhances their appeal to the Zhargis. The Songs of Zharg are known on all other planets to be both completely worthless and a complete load of crap.
Zhargis trade in the Songs of Zharg with a highly developed distribution chain and a complex market in Song Futures and Derivates (ZSFD) in which large quantities of future unwritten songs are bundled together and sold to unsuspecting idiots as securities. Zhargis buy these believing they will increase in value. All Zhargis have pension plans based on securities which consist only of the Songs of Zharg. There are very few financially literate Zhargis and for this reason alone, this important part of the Zhargian economy is able to report that it is unspeakably profitable and that all Zhargis are in turn either now or soon will be rich or at least richer than they were at the time they had this thought.
During the odd moment that Zhargis actually realize they are spending a substantial part of their income on crap they console themselves with the incredible beauty both of the Songs of Zharg and (perhaps more importantly) of the Zhargian Song Market.
The Songs of Zharg:
The Wheel of Shite
On each other
which was quite ok for the ones at the top
who laughed like hell
as brown touts fell from a height
onto those at the bottom
All changed when
the ferris wheel turned slowly round
and those above
became those below
So what goes around comes around
Shite on others and they will shite back 7 fold
To be sung in the key of F minor while accompanied by the Wrinkled Retainer Jazz Band on the Magic Sea Organ.
The Fifteenth Zhargian Dinner Song
Total time for cod
Longer than amoeba
Shorter than a small rock
Be a prawn
Lay down a nice sediment
And be proud of your little shale
Later on make an Arab rather rich
It's important work being a spawn Prawn but
A lobster makes an altogether better class of rich fucker.
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